For a lot of grooms to be it is perceived that at that point of dropping to one knee it’s not just a ring that is being passed over but also total ownership, responsibility and organisation of the big day… Wake up Grooms! Its 2019 and to help you become a modern day Groom we have listed 6 top tips. Ignore these at your peril.
There is nothing for more infuriating for a bride to be than to think that for all the effort that she is putting in you just don’t care. You clearly do but sometimes it may not show. Offer to take complete ownership for some points on the tick list. For example step forward and offer to take sole ownership for the recruitment of your wedding photographer. The chances are that you will not be allowed total control but the offer alone will show you care.
2. Manage the risks
You probably picked your squad within minutes of popping the question and like a premier league manager you will be judged by the performance of your signings. You know your groomsmen better than anyone so manage the risks accordingly. Make a mental list of the things that you could get let down on and put in interventions to insure they do not occur. 10 past John is not called 10 past John because he is punctual therefore do not put him in charge of anything that has time constraints. Kettle is nicknamed so because he is often steaming drunk on nights out. On the day a polite word should be enough to keep him sensible until the actual wedding ceremony is over, if not line up “Steady Eddie” to keep him on track…..at least for a bit.
3. Preparation is key
If you had just one job (you haven’t by the way) it would be to ensure that you and your squad are suited and booted on the big day. My advice to you is to prepare this early but re confirm late. When I got married I took the attitude that it’s a suit, how hard can it be? I discovered that obtaining 5 of the same suit in various sizes was actually no easy task. In fact it went right to the wire with the final waistcoat arriving within 48 hours of the day. Another element I did not prepare for was weight gain of my best man. If you have a best man that fluctuates between healthy and lean to unhealthy and overweight then please refer to point 2 – Manage the risks.
4. Be available
There will be times when your presence is required. It may be a venue viewing, a meeting with the photographer or some food tasting. Make sure that you are available for this and happy to be there at the required time and place. Any hint that you would rather be somewhere else will show through like a beacon of light and you will be sent straight to jail, do not pass go, don’t not collect £200. If you have the derby match or a planned poker night with the boys at any point between now and the big day I absolutely guarantee that something will be arranged on your behalf that clashes with this cannot miss event. May I suggest that you put it on the joint calendar at home big and bold and set a weekly reminder to remind you to remind your partner of your unavailability in advance. Again please refer to point 2 – manage the risks
5. Be a superhero
I will absolutely guarantee that something at some point and probably on the brides list will not go to plan. A supplier will let you down, something will not turn up or someone will do something to upset the applecart. Look out for this as this is your opportunity to don your cape and become a superhero. Step up, step in and take total control of this situation until resolution. The chances are that it will not be as bad as first thought and easily recoverable but nobody needs to know that. This will buy you more brownie points than you can shake a stick at.
6. Get sentimental
There is a saying, something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. All brides are aware of this vs very few Grooms. Knowledge is power and now you have the knowledge of this you are equipped to do something about it. I made a sentimental video message for my wife that one of the Ushers delivered to her about an hour before the ceremony along with some blue stoned earrings (blue and new ticked off the list) which went down a storm with everyone except the makeup artist that had to remove the tear stains from the bridal party.
These top tips are not a comprehensive list but it will go some way to ensuring a smooth transition to husband. There will be more that this list will not cover. You will need to use your own initiative to navigate through. Best of luck with this and I hope that you fully enjoy the day.
Best of luck!